The loss of a loved one is one of the most painful events for family members, relatives, and friends. Upon the death of one such person, the family members themselves begin to plan final arrangements in honor of the deceased. Initially, no relatives are notified as it takes time to make the preparation for the deceased. It should be washed and then dressed in appropriate clothing. In cases where the person has passed away out of old age, most of them have their grave clothes stored well in advance, customarily otherwise called “boçja” (bundle wrapped in a kerchief containing white cotton underwear such as undershirt, drawers, shirt, and the like). In cases of a family member’s unexpected death, the grave clothes are bought.

Tradition has it that if the deceased family keeps a pet animal, it should be locked somewhere, away from the deceased, as it is believed that the soul of the deceased otherwise passes to that pet. If there are mirrors in the deceased’s home, they should all be covered. The deceased is washed, dressed in a suit or something he/she bequeathed, have legs bound, the jawbones brought tied together, and a coin is put in his/her mouth. These are to maintain the correct shape of the dead body. The hands are crossed, the left (as it has the wedding ring) on top of the right. Once such arrangements of the deceased and the house are over, what comes next is sending a notice to the kinfolk and friends. Everyone is dressed in black, a ritual expressing pain for the deceased. After the people gather, the men stand in a separate room, while the women circle around the deceased body in another room. The gathering of kinfolk and family members is accompanied by grief and mourning, otherwise called: “E qajnë me kuje” (wailing through words).

Wailing (lamentation) goes with loud keening over the deceased with words adopted to the life the deceased had led. They usually lament about the life difficulties of the deceased, about what he/she could not accomplish, or about own last wishes he/she may have left. Wailing goes on until daybreak when it stops up to the next day, as tradition says it is not a good sign for the other family members. Women and men spend the whole night awake, “keeping company” to the deceased, in honor of his/her last night at home. In cases the person dies before midnight, he/she is buried the next day. In cases the person dies after midnight, he/she will be buried after a day and night have passed. The coffin lid is left outside the house door to announce the death in that house.

During the night, coffee and raki are served to the men, and also a kulaç (bread-like pie), which is shared among the people “keeping company” to the deceased. The kulaç should be customarily consumed completely with no single bit left over. At sunrise, women start weeping and wailing until the dead are taken out of the house. This moment is accompanied by various rituals, according to religious beliefs. Some of them are: sticking a nail on the floor and breaking an egg (as a symbol of thereafter good luck and life). The house doors are left open and a lamp or candle is lit, which should be kept burning for 40 days (as a sign to lighten the deceased journey to the other world), as well as a glass of water (as a symbol of the soul of the deceased, which still remains behind in the house).

During the burial ceremony, no weeping and wailing and keening and lamenting are heard. The deceased is escorted with bouquets of flowers and wreaths. After the deceased is taken out of the house, a funeral procession accompanies him/her to give the final farewell at the cemetery. Once the dead person is buried, a vessel, glass, or cup is broken. After the burial service is over, all family members, friends, and relatives get together for a repast, hosted in honor of “the departed soul”. All the people attending the burial ceremony, as a custom, wash their hands and face when they leave the cemetery and before entering their house, as it is assumed this keeps death away from their own house.

Following the funeral solemnities, people hold 7- or 9-day (depending on religious belief), 40-day, 6-month, 1-year, and even 3-year periods of death rituals. Family members and friends come together to the home of the deceased, have coffee, and share memories about him/her. On such occasions, people come to visit with money to support the family of the deceased during the bereavement experience.